With only little more than an hour left of the year 2009 I think it's time to reflect.
2009 was an interesting and complicated year for me. At the same time last year I thought it would bring some stability and allow me to settle down a bit, but it seems that just wasn't meant to be. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with my life, and with 2009 having been the year when the effects of the financial crisis finally caught up with me, that isn't a particularly easy thing to do. I stopped teaching in September when the realization that I'd never be able to make a living out of it finally hit me with full force and I have been trying to find a job ever since.
I miss my students. A lot. Sure we had our fair share of beef with each other, but they were still a great source of joy, laughter and inspiration, and cutting those invisible little cords that connected me with them was really painful. It took a while for me to accept that nope, I'm never going to see them again. They opened up entirely new worlds to me and yes, it felt good being the one who knew things and being able to share that knowledge with them. Whether I'll be standing behind a reception desk greeting clients, hanging on the phone dealing with customers, or putting together a report for my boss (or serving BigMac...), I guess I'll always remain a teacher at heart.
I started a course in October that, if I manage to pass all my exams, will enable me to work as a tour guide. Some (very few) people who know me and are reading this are probably raising their eyebrow just now. Yeah, I'm an introvert, and sometimes I feel I totally lack social skills, and then first I go and I torture myself with being a teacher and then move on to another socially trying occupation. How incredibly smart and totally pointless... Or is it?
Well you know what? This one and a half years have made me realize that it's not really "torture" after all. Despite the fact that every single class wrenched me out of my comfort zone in various painful ways, and that during the first 7 or so months of teaching I felt lost on so many levels it's impossible to list, I still feel that I can't ensconce myself into a sequestered little corner behind a desk and enter information into a database or answer an endless flow of plaintive e-mails like I secretly yearn to. Nope, not me.
Yeah, in the beginning I was all sorts of confused and miserable, and by my own admission a lousy teacher, but after a while I slowly got the hang of it, and you have no idea how amazing it was when my students' eyes suddenly lit up realization, when a great (and oftentimes hilarious) conversation ensued, when they began using words we learned together in actual conversation, when they told me about their various little successes in their professional lives or when they gave me some positive feedback on an activity we did in class. You have no idea what it's like when the class just flows and you feel like you are bursting with energy and know that this is exactly where you are meant to be. Or perhaps you do know. I hope so anyway. ;-)
Long story short, I've got to work with people otherwise I'll be on the road of becoming a hermit with zero social skills and a nonexistent social life. There's just something about standing there in front of a group of expectant people and losing all my laboriously acquired inhibitions in a second that I can't give up. Who would have thought I'd end up an exhibitionist by the end of this post, huh? :-)))
So much about my private life. Let's get on-topic now and review the discoveries I made this year.
- I finally managed to ascertain that my skin doesn't tolerate silicones of any kind, a discovery that certainly saved me from a bucketful of blemishes this year. Also, it led me to Alverde's Tagesfluid Perle, a great moisturizer and the best silicone-free primer I've ever got my hands on.
- My skin also made it clear that it doesn't appreciate being on the receiving end of a Beta Hydroxy Acid treatment no matter how many experts claim they were meant for each other and would much rather be pampered with some Alpha Hydroxy Acids instead. Well, skin wants AHAs, skin gets AHAs, so next time Paula's Choice decides to ship to Hungary at a reasonable price (=free) I'll be getting myself an 8% AHA Gel faster than it takes them to say "Free Shipping". And I'll be spending my time dreaming about Skinceuticals' Intense Line Defense serum at least until I get my first salary. (Yes, I've had the pleasure of trying it and freakin' love it.)
- Yep, still totally in love with Silk Naturals lipglosses, and I can't see that changing anytime soon.
- I owned a bottle of L'Occitane's much-raved-about Almond&Apple Cleansing Oil, used it up in 6 months, mourned it a bit, and then found an incomparably cheaper alternative in Alverde's Wildrose Cleansing Milk.
- I found some HG products among Bioderma's range, including my fave silicone-free sunscreen Photoderm Sensitive.
- I got through the 40°C+ heat of summer and the wrath of Tinosorb molecules with the help of Silk Naturals' Oil Control Primer.
- Finally saw reason in doing a full eye makeup every day after discovering ArtDeco's Eyeshadow Base.
- I also met the girls from the 'Krémmárka-voks' thread for the first time in February and have been in contact with them ever since. I hereby thank them for their friendship, all the samples they selflessly parted with to my benefit (:-)) and all the helpful info they share on the thread day-by-day. Thank you so much girls! *hugs*
I've made some friends in the Blogosphere too and some really exciting exchanges of goodies took place as a result. Goodies or no goodies, I love every one of my friends here and could seriously not continue blogging if it weren't for their kind comments, encouragement and sense of humor that keeps coming through e-mails and my blog.
I would like to thank all the ladies who have welcomed me into the fold and been in contact with me over the years:
- The Seeker
- B a.k.a. Brittany
- T. Maria from Romania
- The Muse
- Beauty Tyrant
- Someone Loving
- Little Miss Confused (Gotcha! ;-)
The total randomness of the above list was ensured by a glass of Tokaji Aszú. Futher glasses of alcohol would have ensured a higher level of randomness but would probably have shortened the list considerably. Above mentioned glass of alcohol is also to be blamed if by any chance I have forgotten to mention someone, in which case please accept my sincere apologies, knock me over the head and remind me to add you too. ;-)
What remains now is for me to wish you a very happy year 2010 and send you off into the new year with one of my favorite songs, the beauty of which I feel reflects that in your hearts.
You can watch the actual scene from the movie and listen to the song in somewhat better quality here. (The author doesn't allow embedding unfortunately.)
"Inama Nushif" means 'She is eternal.' in the fictional language of the Fremen.